I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
