There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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