If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize