he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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