he thought i was a dude.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Sext me about skeletons
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
