the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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