I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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