hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I've blown a few things in my day
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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