Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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