Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
