I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
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My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
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We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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