you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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