I want to have your abortion
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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