oh god the rape fog is back!
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
