I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
