So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
If I die, sorry about rent.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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