he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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