According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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