i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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