Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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