R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
