Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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