I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
