he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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