I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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