I want to have your abortion
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
