I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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