Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway