trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.