Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
