why didn't you poke me back
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize