the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize