Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize