i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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