Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
