I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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