My hand turned me down
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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