I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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