yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
