hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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