Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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