are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
