rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize