I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
A+ Viking dick
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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