never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
