Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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