Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize