i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
