Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
if only i could text you this smell
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
