Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize