i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
