Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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