He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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