i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize