There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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