hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
