she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
