Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
