I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Randomize
