I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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