Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
